| College: Part II.Cornell and NYU rejected my life. :3. I'm still kinda mediocre, huh... :D.
But here you are. :D.
I'm going to end up going to Syracuse University. :3.
&pie.
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| College: Part I.Oy.
The only school that maybe likes me.
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| Night.It's something about the night, the darkness, the deepness, that makes all of my insecurities rise to the surface. Clouding all reasonable thoughts and logic. Cluttering my head and filling it with nothing but emptiness. Oh solitude, you are the cruelest of all.
And it's something about the night that makes me think about the past. About what's happened, and what I want to happen. And that same something is what allows me to dream about the possibilities of something from nothing. It's what creates senses of false hope everywhere. My whole mind, body, and soul, are held in false pretenses. And it's something about the night that makes me nervous and paranoid. It makes me wonder and makes me uneasy. It's the reason I'm drowning.It brings out a side of me I never want to see. The side that feeds off of my deepest fears and insecurities. The side that breathes loneliness and knows no other family. The side that is caught up in the vast emptiness of my heart.
Everyone has their person.
And I'm forcing myself to forget the only person I had.
It's a lonely phase, isn't it. :).
But no worries, façade, façade, façade. =).T
It's okay, right? Such desolation couldn't possibly last an eternity...
-m.
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| @@@ Part II.You know what, I'm so done.
All of this confusing bullshit, what? I can't even deal with it. It's so ridiculous. All of these mutual feelings, unrequited feelings, false feelings, oh who the fuck cares anymore? Obviously I don't. Good job.
Okay so, maybe I'm feelin' a bit defiant right now but honestly? I'm so fucking done.
These silly "emo" feelings, LULZGTFO. I will end up feelin' a bit lonely or something and it kinda feels like something is missing in my life or something but I don't want it back. I want something else. Something with a bit more promise. And obviously there is no use waiting for something that's never coming back, amirite amirite?
And I'm sure all of you, to whom I complain, know that it's better this way. I'm trying to convince myself too. :]. Aja aja? xD.
And it's kind of upsetting that I have to move on. And it's making me sad but what use is waiting? Why waste my life for someone who honestly doesn't care. :).
One day, I'm sure I'll find a wonderful boy who I cherish and vice versa. I don't deserve this madness, do I? I don't think anyone does. It'd be nice to be friends maybe but naww. Not now. Maybe later. I'll let you know when I'm completely over everything. Or maybe I won't. We'll see.
And I'm sure I'll be tempted a thousand times more to talk to you but naww. I'm committing to my promise now. And I'm not about to let the same shit happen again. :3. I'm not gonna let you do it again.
And I'm sure I care for you oodles, after all, we've been through a lot of things together. So, love you~ . ^^.
False hope is a dangerous thing kiddies. :). And for that, I hate you.
So there you have it.
Never. Again.
♥. mle.
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| Dinosaurs & Pie.I love both. Yey.
o__o.
Let's reflect a bit on Valentine's Day:
Valentine: Daviiiiiiid.
:D.
I don't like o.o stupid holidays, however, I do appreciate *__* how cheap candy is after the fact. :3.
So once upon a time I stared at this boy a lot for ever. o.o. And now I've finally spoken to him. :D. How exciting!
I can't wait until college.
UB: accepted
Binghamton: accepted
What else.. blah blah blah.
Boys are dumb. Why can't I find a guy? :(. The end. It's hard to watch everyone in the world with their pie as I wait and wonder in solitude. :3.
XD. Okay that's all. :].
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